4 days 1 hour 35 minutes.
I'll do my best to keep y'all updated on here throughout and after my trip. Also, if you could say a prayer for mom and I to stay healthy that would be great. I've decided to get a nasty cold now of all times.
My countdown is telling me that's how much time I have until mama and I are boarding our first plane on our long journey to SE Asia. Our bags are packed (more or less) and we're ready to go! Holy buckets. That's so so exciting, but if I'm being honest, that also terrifies me a little. Life has seemed to be a giant checklist lately:
- Graduate
- Pass Boards
- Move my stuff to Sioux Falls
- Go to India
- Start my new job (only 36 hours after I land in the States)
And this checklist has made me feel like life is moving at about 100mph. In the midst of this all I also have been trying to spend as much time with the people I love most because I know when I get back from India things will be different. Yeah, yeah...Sioux Falls is only an hour away but that's still different. I'll live 100% on my own, have to cook for myself all the time, figure out things like insurance and banking and all that weird grown up stuff, and I'll be an actual real life RN. This is weird and so incredibly exciting and a little nerve-racking. In these whirlwind moments I'm oh so thankful to serve a God who knows so much better than I do and promises to never leave my side- even in the, "Jesus, I really have no idea what I'm doing." moments. (no matter how old you get, do those moments ever go away?)
Anyway, back to the trip. The thought of going back brings tears to my eyes because I'm so excited. This place has had a huge impact on shaping who I am today. Its given me so many of my passions that have carried over to the States too. Seeing Jesus in the brokenness is one of the things I love most in this whole world and I cannot wait to be back. But with that, I'm also nervous. I know it won't be the same because it's a different time with different people, and I've tried to prepare my heart for that. Phil Wickham's song All I Am says,
"Take these hands I know they're empty
But with you they can be used for beauty in your perfect Plan
All I am is Yours
Take these feet, I know they stumble,
But You use the weak, You use the humble,
So, please use me.
All I am is yours.
I give You all my life, I'm letting it go,
a living sacrifice, no longer my own.
All I am is Yours.
Take this heart, set it on fire.
Shine it in the dark. I wanna tell the world of who you are.
All I am is Yours."
I'm not sure if I could sum up my feelings better. My hands feel empty, and my feet stumble but the Lord's grace covers that. He goes before me and has a plan. In Ephesians 3 Paul said he was the least of all God's saints, but was called through the Lord's grace. I feel a little like Paul..God can use my brokenness, unpreparedness, and anxiety all for His glory. Don't we serve an awesome God?
I'll do my best to keep y'all updated on here throughout and after my trip. Also, if you could say a prayer for mom and I to stay healthy that would be great. I've decided to get a nasty cold now of all times.
