rebuilding the wall.

I'm home, back in Sioux Center. It's good to be home, but it's also very strange. I've rewritten this paragraph about six times and am just not quite sure what to say yet. So instead I have a few simple thoughts about what God's been reminding me through Nehemiah lately.

Our very first devotion in India started in Nehemiah. I'd never really read Nehemiah and honestly had no idea what it was about. Lydia briefed us and told us that for seven weeks we each had a specific part of the wall to build while in India- God had a plan for each of us. And for our very last devotion we ended our time again in Nehemiah. Just as God called us to India to rebuild a part of the wall, He also called us back to build another part of the wall. This is something I definitely need to remind myself when my heart aches for India and I feel useless in Sioux Center- that God has called me back and there is hurt here too and He is active, alive, and triumphant in the midst of the hurt here as well.

Rereading Nehemiah now that I'm home God keeps teaching me more. In Nehemiah 1, Nehemiah is being burdened and is reminded of God's character and asked Him to act. He's calling upon the goodness of God, and as I'm home I have to continually call on the goodness of God and plea with him to act in the midst of despair. I hurt for the women I met in India, and I won't stop fighting for them. But when the hurt gets overwhelming (and it often does), I have to call on the character of God and be reminded of HIS power and grace just as Nehemiah did in chapter 1. Today I've been reminded of God's power and grace through these song lyrics:

After all You are constant

After all You are only good

After all You are sovereign

Not for a moment will you forsake me

Not for a moment will you forsake me

lasts, goodbyes, and lots of processing!

  1 sleep! That's it. That's the amount of time I have left in this beautiful city. Although this past week has been filled with lasts, goodbyes, and processing...it has been a good week. The Lord has really, really blessed this week. Almost every day this week we said goodbye to another ministry site and more people whom I have fallen in love with and may never see again. While these were not necessarily easy or fun because these people have changed my life, I'm okay with the place I'm in. God has me in a place of contentment right now, which is definitely an answered prayer! This week has been slow, but in a very good way in which I was able to soak up every moment of it.
  Through much of my processing I've realized how difficult and frustrating my time here has been at times, but I've also realized how much I've fallen in love and how much there is yet to be done and how much God is doing! So often I felt useless or felt as if I was chipping away at a rock solid wall and making no progress, but in these quiet moments God reminded me that I was at that specific ministry at that certain time for a reason, and I was there to love hard and to shine His love on these girls and women. Leaving is difficult, but I am so hopeful because God is NOT done here. God is so much bigger than we are and He is continuously working! I have to remind myself that for seven weeks we are only a small, small part of God's plan for this city and that He will continue to fight for these women and children-- He'll fight for their good!
 Thursday was our last day of ministry, and after many goodbyes we took one day to be all American tourists, which was fun after seven weeks of doing life here day in and day out. We took a beautiful drive and toured a palace, which was again so so beautiful and intricate. The entire place blew me away. Then we got to ride an elephant! I almost cried getting on, but then I was fine. We finished our day by going to another beautiful dam/garden in the midst of the jungle, or something that resembled a jungle? It was just a very refreshing, fun day to finish off our trip! The next two days are packed with finals such as debriefing, shopping, packing, and more goodbyes. I am beyond excited to go home and give everyone a big, big hug! While I will miss this place and these people, they will forever be in my heart and continuously be lifted up in prayer.
 While this week was definitely a blessing, there were still difficult moments and in those moments I clung to 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, "Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are bing renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Specific prayer requests:
- good health and safe travels back home! Darc and I just discovered we're on different flights going from Germany to Chicago so we'll all be traveling alone for the second half of our trip..eeek!
- peace about leaving this city and these people! and please, please continue to pray for this city, but specifically for the women and children who are still in the midst of hurt each day. Pray they would draw near to Jesus and drink the living water.
- a smooth adjustment back into American culture, this has not been easy for me in the past.

1 sleep! I'm so excited to see y'all, share stories, and catch up on life back home. I'm looking forward to many, many coffee dates! America, I can't wait for your delicious steak, my own clothes, a comfortable bed, an adjustment, and an actual shower! See you soon! 

10,000 Reasons

This week has been wonderful in so many ways. We have our team of 6 here which has been such a blessing! With 6 extra people in the house though it has also been a very tiring week. I've experienced a lot of different emotions this week and I'm not sure I have even completely processed everything that has happened yet. That being said, I really don't have words for this week quite yet. Instead, I'm going to simply tell you three short stories that might display a glimpse of the beauty I have experienced this week.

Last Saturday we went to the HIV orphanage to love on the kids. Their ages range from 5 to 18 years old. I did Bible study with the four oldest girls talking about the character of God and then told the little kids a story. Next, we were going to do a craft with the older boys, but since we're in India and nothing ever goes as planned :) that didn't end up happening. Instead, all of the boys sat in a circle and suddenly started singing 10,000 Reasons. And these boys can really sing--they are awesome and love Jesus with all their heart. Seeing their joy and passion blew me away. The oldest boy got his guitar and we all sat together singing praise songs. This was one of the most worshipful times I've had during my time here, sitting together with 12 HIV+ boys singing about the 10,000 reasons we have to bless our wonderful Savior. This song has come up repeatedly and been the song of our week- God is clearly saying something!

Tuesday morning 6 of us stayed home in the morning and prayed together. We headed up to the roof and prayed over the house, the future aftercare center it may be, and many many other requests. During this time it was really like we had entered the throne and the Spirit was speaking through us. Then we paired up and headed to each room to pray over it and the women who may live there in the future and the Spirit was definitely present then too. It's so comforting to know that yes, we are fighting for these women who have been trafficked, but their heavenly Father is fighting so much harder for them and loves them so much more!

And then Friday we headed to the aftercare center again. The Lord has really just placed two women on my heart, one of whom I told you about yesterday. The other is very quiet, doesn't really open up to anyone, and looks fairly hopeless to many people but this is not what I see at all. Yesterday I walked in and she gave me a big hug, grabbed my hand and rarely left my side. We laughed together and I saw hope and joy fill her rather hopeless world. Then she asked me to pray for her which was such a blessing. It has just been such a blessing to be able to love on her and have a special relationship form with her. My prayer is that a seed is planted and one day soon her eyes are opened to the love of her wonderful Savior. So keep this dear friend of mine in your prayers. Pray she would know love, joy, peace, and hope that comes from Jesus Christ alone.

My biggest prayer request for this week is for protection, physically and spiritually. I really feel that I have been set free from much of my anxiety, but this past week I often struggled with thoughts of inadequacy or doubt. So pray that these thoughts would flee and that the Spirit of the Lord would fill this home.
- 2 Corinthians 3:17 "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

falling in love again.

Many of you know that two years ago, on a very short trip, India stole part of my heart. Well once again, these people have my heart. I love this country and the people I'm working with! Relationships are being formed more and more each day and I truly love these beautiful children of the King! I love the moments spent laughing and singing with people crippled by AIDS. I love being made fun of, laughing, and praying with the women at the stitching center (we like to laugh...a lot). I love just sitting with the women at the aftercare center and hearing their stories. 1 John 3:1 says, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" Note the two exclamation points..this is something to be excited about! All these people that I've grown to love are God's children and my desire is that each one would know this truth, but it breaks my heart that a lot of them don't. There are A LOT of people in India, but there's also a lot of confusion and idolatry. Knowing that God created every single person in in his image and that he knows and loves each of them literally blows my mind, but it also breaks my heart that so many have turned away from him. My favorite 'India song' is "God of this City" and one line says, "You're the light in the darkness." God has proved this over and over each day I've been in Bangalore. Some days his light shows through a breeze or a beautiful sunset. On Sundays it shines bright through Christian fellowship at church. One day, at Costa Coffee it shined bright when Laura Story's 'Jesus you are stronger...' song came on their radio. Yupp, definitely God shining through! On Tuesday I shared the story of Noah with a 15 year old Hindu girl at the stitching center who is so curious, loves Bible stories, and absorbs everything! It's in these moments that I know that God is here and he is shining his light on his children.

This week, I was also reading in Romans and God blew me away with a verse I've known all my life. Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." But then I went on to verse 24, "and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." woah! This is exactly what I want the masses of people in India to know. Especially those who have been trafficked, so pray that the people at the hospital, stitching center, and aftercare center will know that they are freed from sin through the undeserved kindness that Christ showers on us. Pray that they'll know they are sons and daughters of Jesus Christ and he delights in them and pursues them. Christ redeems us. The definition of redeem is 'to obtain release by paying a price, to buy back' This has been really heavy on my heart for trafficking survivors because they have been bought before. Their bodies have been sold and they've repeatedly been told they are worthless. But it's my prayer that they would know worth in Christ and find their beauty back in his love. Restoration is a very, very long process for these women, but pray that our partnership would be fruitful and we would trust in the Lord's plan for these women's lives. On Friday, I got to see evidence of Romans 3:23-24 at the aftercare center. I sat next to a woman who spoke a little english and asked her how she was. She said worried so I asked if she ever talked to God about her worries. She proceeded to tell me she prays and reads her Bible every night. She's been a believer since she was little, even throughout her time being trafficked! Then she painted 'God is love' on her paper and said, "Jesus love me. I love Jesus." I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest! Praise the Lord that this women has found her worth in Christ! And then, she sang 'Oh Come all Ye Faithful' for me because it's the only english song she knows :) such beauty.

prayers for this week:

- health. A few of our team members have not been feeling the best this week, so pray the Lord would sustain them and give them new strength each morning

- our team of 6 coming tomorrow--this next week will be very busy!

- that God calls the women we work with near to him and to his word

- that we, as a team, would find peace in the Lord's leading and trust in his plan concerning ministry

- that God's light would continue to shine in the darkness